Owing to something I care about, mind has not been in a good place. It is riddled with anxiety. Now, you can try and have no such situations, but then the life has no game to win or lose or care, which kind of takes away the fun of life (I think), but at the same time, it can’t be debilitating, which makes your time hell while you anxiously prepare for the moment that you care about.
I think what we might be looking for is a state of ‘flow’, it is challenging enough to be fun, not too easy, not too hard, may be.
So, because of a recent milestone event, my anxiety went out of control, and feels like my equanimity went berserk, so sounds like a step backwards, but then path to awakening is not a linear path, so I guess there are no backward steps, every step you take was meant to be taken.
